Max Slacker is in his thirties, single, and his hair is starting to go a tad thin. He works for MCX Computer Corporation in a menial tech-support job, while morons with half  his ability are promoted over his head so fast they cause sonic booms. His home, an old Atlas ICBM silo, is celebrated for its squalidity.  That hasn't stopped his buddies from all crashing with him, though. He also draws a semi-regular comic strip which appears in the local alternative newspaper, The Village Idiot.
	Stu Moore is roughly Max's age and also works at MCX. Unlike his friend, though, he goes through a passel of girlfriends every year. Unfortunately, none of them seems to remain his girlfriend for very long. His undying optimism gets on peoples' nerves once in a while. Stu's only fear is of being unhip; ironically so, since he's not hip at all. But he tries.
	Working just a couple of cubicles down the line from Max, Annie Vrska creeps most of her acquaintances and co-workers out. But once you get to know her, she doesn't creep you out quite as much. Or maybe she does. I dunno, whatever. What's with all the questions? Why are you interrogating me? I'm not on trial here!
	Circe Byrd insists that life sucks despite having everything go her way. Not since pre-infancy has any misfortune befallen Circe, but she's bought into pop negativism so heavily she's sure the world is going to be destroyed tomorrow in a confused maelstrom of global warming, aerosol cans, sexism, and unrecycleable styrofoam food containers from Kentucky Fried Chicken. Despite having virtually no ability, skills, or experience whatsoever, she was promoted over Max's head at MCX.
	Mort  Thiokol is Max's fortysomething boss at MCX Computer Corporation. He means well, but his inflexibility and his craven disregard for common sense oftentimes lead to disaster. Mort was a US Army infantry company commander in Operation Desert Storm, where his men referred to him affectionately as "Old Whatsisname".
	Max's neighbor Jim Joskins, a State Trooper, believes in Truth, Justice, and the 55-MPH speed limit. There are two words you don't want to hear from Jim: "License" and "Registration". Jim belongs to the Association of African-American State Troopers. There are at least two other members that we know of.
	Joe Welcome is Circe's ex-boyfriend. The two of them don't exactly get along anymore, but in their defense, it should be pointed out that neither one of them has bitten the other's ears off. Yet. Joe's secret shame is his inability to grow a decent goatee. His Generation X credentials are on the line. He compensates by drinking lots of Starbuck's Coffee and buying tons of Sheik condoms, even when he has no legitimate use for them. Anyhow, surplus condoms come in pretty handy for water balloon fights, so what the hell.
	Festus is a two-headed, three-legged minion of the mighty Muppeteer emperor.  He is frequently called upon for missions to Earth, due to his expertise on Terran culture and mastery of a wide range of human languages, including non-existent ones like "Serbo-Korean" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Hindi".  Has been condemned to death an uncountable number of times, but usually manages to avoid it.
	Festus' companion (but not in a gay way) Woofer-To-Animals is a skilled interspecies diplomant and safecracker.  His knowledge of Earth makes him indispensible whenever Festus is called upon to visit the Big Blue Marble to fulfill some whim of the Emperor.  Big and scary-looking, Woofer is actually quite easy to get along with and rarely eats anybody who didn't need eating.
	Max's sometime android housekeeper and ex-wife, Heidi hails from a parallel universe in which robots actually perform useful tasks besides painting autombiles and beating each other up on TV shows five years ago.  Heidi's tendencies towards evil usually make her an unwelcome visitor to chez Max, but her smoking-hot robobody partially makes up for it.